OK for starters, let me just say that the bloody church was on fire before I even woke up. I don’t know why my ute was parked semi-upturned against the alter and frankly I don’t care. What did Jesus ever do for me? And if you expect me to swap insurance details with an omnipresent being, then I’ve got news for ya pal.

Now that we have that atrocious mess out of the way, let’s talk about pretzels. Sure, they’re making me thirsty – but they’re also the perfect accompaniment for some good old fashioned rock ‘n’ roll just like my papaw and nanoo used to jiggle to.

The German Club are well known to the independent / underground music lovers of Cairns. They’ve flown the flag for live original music for a good many years now and once again they’re opening their doors and welcoming the masses to come and oom-pah their collective tits off to some exquisite bands.

This time around they’re collaborating with local band Swamp Donkey, on what the latter lardy lads are titling as their “Swamp Donkey Invite Series #1”. What the deuce does that mean? No one knows, just smile in a non-committal fashion and comment on how pleasant the weathers’ been.

It all takes place on Saturday 18th March, at The German Club (57 Winkworth St, Cairns).
Live Bands are playing, and the names of those live bands that I already mentioned are playing, are:
Forest.
Post-Rock. When asked for more information, they all screamed like banshees and dived down a glacier waterfall.
Post-Truths
911 was an inside dog, but sometimes we made him sleep in the laundry.
MACHINE MACHINE
Some funky soulful rock n roll to get you on your feet.
Tropic Roots
Skas on Seal’s face. Reggaele us with your stories. Hip Hop and ya don’t stop. Punkle Buck’s not dead.
Swamp Donkey
some of the best RSL-quality standup comedy that you’ll ever hear. new album “Ya just can’t help but chuckle with the boys” – available now at all good servo stations.
plus a special appearance by DJ Paul Rudd (no refunds)

Doors from 7pm
All welcome, but magicians will be shot on site.
$10. All ages. (18+ Bring ID if you want to sink some piss)
Basic munchies available.

(main pic courtesy of Pappi-Razzi)